A day in the life of...

sometimes I wonder why I can't just be consistent with writing and keeping up this blog. and then my very next thought? bah. does it matter? don't get me wrong, I do want to keep you updated on life and things going on, but I also am a little wierded out by the fact that anyone in this entire world has access to this and my ramblings. so. yeah.

the past few months have been really, really good. in some aspects. really, really hard in other aspects. and, because of the fact that the whole world does indeed have access and there are some things that are just better held close, I won't go into detail. in short, sickness and disease when it hits close, seem to be some of lifes more difficult challenges. these are the moments when trust is put on the line. do I really believe God has plans to not harm, but to prosper? do I believe He loves us enough to walk us through some very dark times? do I believe he won't give us more than we can handle? yes. yes, I do. I cling to these promises daily.

and, on the home front...grandma keeps keeping on. it seems like with each day, there is just a gradual slowing. this morning, as I was sitting her up in bed, she said, "I just can't do it." when I asked her what, she didn't respond. so, I asked, "do you feel like you can't walk or stand?" "no, I can stand." so, wondering what exactly it was that she felt she couldn't do, I helped her to the restroom to get ready for her day. again, I asked her if she could tell me what it was that she couldn't do. "I can't go there." she wasn't able to and didn't want to talk about it. yesterday we had a similar interaction of her telling me she was having deep thoughts, but that she couldn't talk about it. I'm not always sure what all of this means or what is happening inside. some days I just have to wonder if the aging process is just difficult and perhaps scary. I can't imagine being 89, after living such a full, rich life, pouring your heart into people and doing your best to serve God in every aspect and then to struggle to even articulate what is happening in your head and heart. as we walked past her bed to the kitchen this morning, she paused and looked at it and said, "my bed looks pretty good." I asked her if she'd like some breakfast before she crawled back in and she said she did. however, she was just pretty ready to crawl back in. life is slowing and sleep is welcomed.

this week I had the special gift of two very cherished visitors. its amazing what good, challenging, encouraging, deep conversation does for the heart. I'm convinced now more than ever that isolation is extremely unhealthy. we need people. we need fellowship. we need conversation. we need community. we need those people who are willing to speak truth into our lives, who will challenge and push us, but then encourage and love us where we are. it needs to go deep and honest, it needs to push us to the Father's heart. I'm greatful for friends and family who play this role in my life. I'm so blessed.

it hasn't been the easiest of weeks. but thats not an excuse. despite what our days hold, we're called to be grateful and to see God's hand in our circumstances. and to cook. ok, so not really the cooking part. but for me, cooking is a form of therapy. and, after a few days of being home alone with the grandparents, I decided it was time for some new recipe testing. grandma even liked it?! so, must not be that bad, right?!

I've posted for your use, should you care to bravely attack the chicken. slightly labor intensive, but like I said, "therapy!"

The Ultimate Barbecued Chicken Recipe: Food Network

Ingredients
Brine:
2 quarts water
2 tablespoons kosher salt
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 garlic cloves, smashed with the side of a large knife
4 sprigs fresh thyme
6 chicken legs and thighs, still connected, bone in, skin on, about 10 ounces each
The Ultimate Barbecue Sauce:
1 slice bacon
1 bunch fresh thyme
Extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
2 cups ketchup
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup molasses
2 tablespoons red or white wine vinegar
1 tablespoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon paprika or smoked paprika if available
Freshly ground black pepper
Directions
For the brine, in a mixing bowl combine the water, salt, sugar, garlic, and thyme. Transfer the brine to a 2-gallon sized re-sealable plastic bag. Add the chicken, close the bag and refrigerate 2 hours (if you've only got 15 minutes, that's fine) to allow the salt and seasonings to penetrate the chicken.

Meanwhile, make the sauce. Wrap the bacon around the bunch of thyme and tie with kitchen twine so you have a nice bundle. Heat about 2 tablespoons of oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the thyme and cook slowly 3 to 4 minutes to render the bacon fat and give the sauce a nice smoky taste. Add the onion and garlic and cook slowly without coloring for 5 minutes. Add the remaining ingredients, give the sauce a stir, and turn the heat down to low. Cook slowly for 20 minutes to meld the flavors. Once the sauce is done cooking, remove about 1 1/2 cups of the sauce and reserve for serving along side the chicken at the table. The rest of the barbecue sauce will be used for basing the legs.

Preheat oven 375 degrees F.

Preheat a grill pan or an outdoor gas or charcoal barbecue to a medium heat. Take a few paper towels and fold them several times to make a thick square. Blot a small amount of oil on the paper towel and carefully and quickly wipe the hot grates of the grill to make a nonstick surface. Take the chicken out of the brine, pat it dry on paper towels. Arrange the chicken pieces on the preheated grill and cook, turn once mid-way, and cook for a total of 10 minutes. Transfer the grill marked chicken to a cookie sheet and then place in the oven. Cook the chicken for 15 minutes, remove it from the oven and then brush liberally, coating every inch of the legs with the barbecue sauce and then return to the oven for 25 to 30 more minutes, basting the chicken for a second time half way through remaining cooking time. Serve with extra sauce.


and...the asparagus...most excellent asparagus:


Roasted Asparagus with Hollandaise Recipe: Food Network

Ingredients
Asparagus:
1 pound medium asparagus
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Sauce:
1 large egg yolk
1 1/2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
Pinch cayenne pepper
4 tablespoons unsalted butter (1/2 stick)
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
Directions
Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Trim the woody ends from the asparagus. Spread the spears in a single layer in a shallow roasting pan baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt, and roll to coat thoroughly. Roast the asparagus until lightly browned and tender, about 10 minutes, giving the pan a good shake about halfway through.

Meanwhile, put the egg yolk, lemon juice, and cayenne in a blender. Pulse a couple times to combine.

Put the butter in a small microwave proof bowl and heat in a microwave until just melted. With the blender running, gradually add the melted butter into the egg to make a smooth frothy sauce. If the sauce is really thick blend in a teaspoon of lukewarm water to loosen it up. Season with the salt and serve immediately or keep warm in a small heat-proof bowl set over hot (but not simmering) water until ready to serve.

Spread the roasted asparagus on a serving platter. Grind a generous amount of pepper over the top.

Cook's Note: This recipe can be easily doubled. If you double the recipe, be sure to place the stems on the baking sheet so that the tips are pointed toward the center, and the bottoms are pointed out, toward the edges of the pan. Since the tips are thinner than the stems, they tend to cook faster. However, when roasting, items at the edges of the pan cooked more quickly than those in the center. Taking the time to lace them this way helps the asparagus cook evenly.