I guess I've been lax. or busy. one or the other. it seems its been non-stop since I got home and since the snow. Juneau needed to be visited once more, to train our new intern. the weather was nice, of course, after I've moved out?! but, I did enjoy it...and, since I've been back, there's a worship team to be joined with again, dinner's to be had, friends to send off, concerts to go to, friends to be comforted, grocery's to be purchased, campaign events to be attended...and, there you have the schedule.
today I was thinking in a lot of different directions. it didn't start off the best day, and honestly, not sure that much has changed besides the fact of being home in pj's and just relaxing. its the one night this week that I have nothing going on and so I'm relishing in that fact. some times life gets way too far ahead of me. I want a slow life. I want a garden and a cow. who knew?! I want to get my fingers dirty in the dirt, planting carrots and flowers with mom. I want to roll down a green, grassy hill with nieces and nephews. I want to take walks with Grandma around the kitchen to get her exercise. I want to 30 mph with dad down a windy, warm, Ohio road.
I had a few conversations around future, change, shifting, God moving. and, what was intended to be vulnerable sharing of the heart and what seems to be direction from God, but then questions that were asked and the direction the conversation went, left me doubting, questioning and with fear that I was somehow missing God.
how does this even happen? why? how can one person's questions and opinion throw me for such a loop? am I not confident enough in what I believe, in what I hear God saying to me to stand on my own two feet? yes. I am actually. they were good questions. they caused me to evaluate and then come back around to what I know as truth, to how God speaks to my heart, to the direction God is giving me...and to rest. I need to rest. I need to soak in the peace the Father has extended to me. I have come full circle.
4 responses:
all I have to say is:
DON'T LEAVE ME!
Good for you girl!! Isn't God good! love and hugs!!
time to post again honey. :o)
You want a garden and a cow? You want clothes with buttons instead of zippers, no radio, and a horse and wagon? Showy, that's the Amish in you, and it's time to let it out:)
God loves you, God speaks to you, God values YOU. No one can change or take that away from you. Sure am glad I know you:)
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