A day in the life of...

there are times I let little things get in the way of what really matters. I start to get frustrated over not having directions I need, over icy roads, over windshield wipers that don't work. over a pen that doesn't work when I "desperately" need it. over an iphone that isn't displaying directions I finally got, appropriately, and because I'm so focused on trying to figure it out, I nearly take out a guardrale. sure, these things matter, they do. and yet, when it comes down to it, it really just doesn't.

lastnight, I was headed in to Columbus to have dinner with my cousins and all of the aforementioned things were happening, one right after another. to the point that I was like, wait a second, what is going on here? what is the deeper issue here? so, I started praying. and as I committed my time, my drive, my car...all of it to the Father...He brought other things to mind that need to be interceeded on behalf of. by the time I got to the edge of Columbus, I was thrilled with the time I was having with the Father and the ways He was allowing me to be a part of his Kingdom with intercession. and, I realized what the bigger picture really was.

yesterday Grandpa started getting sick. his BP skyrocketed and he threw up a few times. he's weak and a bit dizzy, but otherwise in no pain. he slept most of the day and never really wanted to get up. by evening, his bp was up to 218/108. not good. so, dad helped him to bed and I went to sleep in the night duty room as usual. I wasn't sure if I'd get any sleep, unsure how the night would go, how Grandma would do, if Grandpa would need anything. and yet, it was quiet, too quiet. Grandma didn't sleep much, she was concerned. but, Grandpa slept all night and seemed to sleep soundly.

this morning, dad called the doctor and they said he needs to get to ER quickly. after talking to Grandpa, they decided we wouldn't take him in. he said he's lived a good life and he's not in pain, so he'd rather just stay here. we'll do our best to keep him as comfortable as we can, but its hard. its hard to see, its hard to know he can't last long in these conditions. I went in to check on him a few minutes ago, asked him how he was doing, and what it felt like. he said, "it feels like I'm just ready to go." he said there is no pain, he just wants to rest. and Grandma won't leave his side. even if she's not sleeping, she's in her bed, next to him, just watching him. I asked her how her heart was, if she was doing ok and she said, "I'm not sure..."

what really matters? at the end of the day, when the windshield wipers haven't worked well, when I've gotten frustrated with directions...what really matters, is the last moments I get with two of the wisest people I know. two people who have passionately loved and followed Jesus. who have spoken truth and have shared Jesus with many. they have walked in integrity, with strong character. they have built a strong, deeply rooted family on God's heart and promises. they are leaving a legacy.

thats what really matters.